27 October 2017
I went to Lancaster this weekend to visit with my parents and my friend Artie. It was a wonderful few days full of small moments that were so affirming in their ordinariness.
I have spent the these last few days, today included, presenting 100% as myself. Normally, for work, I present more as my old self and then at home as me.
Here in Johnstown ugly comments, often loud enough to hear over music blasting through my headphones, and stares are common. Although, there are a couple of areas an hour or so away where this does not happen as much. These are the areas that I gravitate towards to do my shopping and enjoy a nice day out. But this trip to Lancaster has provided me several uninterrupted days of casual acceptance that felt both comfortable and natural.
My friend Artie and I shared coffee and a few hours of conversation at a Starbucks down the street from my parent's house. It was a wonderfully pleasant morning that began with a gentleman holding the door for me and allowing me to precede him as we entered and took our places in line. A small but affirming gesture honoring my blossoming womanhood. And, a first.
Another first was at the theater after watching Star Trek - Wrath Of Khan with my parents. The three of us headed into the restrooms with me following Mom into the women's. As we walked in, I was thinking to myself that the last time she and I walked into a ladies room together I was probably 5 or so. This wasn't the first time I've used a multi-stall women's restroom but rather simply the first time Mom and I entered one together as mother and daughter.
I got home late last night and didn't take off my nail polish even though I knew I wouldn't have time to do it in the morning before work as we had a meeting scheduled for 6:30am. I wasn't planning on seeing customers today, there were reports to do and a scheduled service at the dealer for the car so, I went to work as me. And also to the dealership as well. It was all uneventful, which is perfect. The day-to-day living of my life should be uneventful.
It has been a long journey to get to this point, but it has been worth it. There are always going to be difficult times and disappointments, that is part of life afterall, but even then, there's a peace and quiet joy within me now that softens those moments and carries me through them with a growing grace.
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